Different River

”You can never step in the same river twice.” –Heraclitus

AP reports that four teenagers in Rochester, New York broke into a mosque, urinated in the purification water, smashed wine bottles against the walls, left bicycle skid marks on the carpet, emptied the fire extinguishers and burned cigarette holes in the prayer rugs.

The four were arrested, and are being held in jail charged with felony hate crimes.

Oh wait — I got mixed up. It was a Catholic Church not a mosque, and the four were charged with ordinary vandalism and released to their parents.

Whew! For a minute there I thought it was a hate crime.

(Warning: Retroactive sarcasm alert in effect!)

I reported last night that there were rumors that Chief Justice Rehnquist was going to announce his retirement today.

Now, as I type this, Matt Drudge is reporting the same thing with the main, large-type headline:

BUSH GETS TWO:
REPORT: REHNQUIST RETIRES; TO BE ANNOUNCED TONIGHT

No link; just the headline.

Also, Eugene Volokh is reporting that he heard “from someone who seems like a serious person that Bob Novak just said on CNN that, according to Novak’s source, Rehnquist will retire as soon as the President lands, which would be near 5 pm Eastern today.”

Now remember the rules: If this happens, I get full credit for predicting correctly that the Chief Justice’s seat would become vacant. And if it doesn’t, I get to keep predicting it again and again until it happens, at which point I then get full credit for predicting correctly.

I know we have to keep up our standards standards at Different River, but every once in a while we stoop to the level of the mainstream TV and newspaper pundits, just for the fun of it.

Joe of Joe’s Dartblog writes:

Jeb Bush’s name doesn’t figure as prominently in the mix for 2008 anymore. I suspect the Schiavo debacle has much to do with that.

I disagree. I think it’s mostly explained by the fact that Jeb Bush said he isn’t going to run in 2008.

Apparently, former New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani was in London when the bombs when off, and was just a few yards away from the first explosion when it happened. That means he was closer to the bomb site this time than he was to the World Trade Center when it was attacked.

Maybe we should stay away from this guy. Was he in Madrid last March (2004)?

This is getting to be sort of like the life of Robert Todd Lincoln, son of President Abraham Lincoln. He declined an invitation to the theater the night his father was shot, but hurried when he heard the news and was with his father when he died. Sixteen years later, he was Secretary of War in the James Garfield administration, and was in the train station in Washington when President Garfield’s was shot. Lincoln was the first person to reach Garfield’s side, and was the one to call for a doctor. Twenty years after that, he was in the receiving line to see President McKinley at the Pan-American Exposition in Buffalo when McKinley was shot.

“After McKinley’s death, Lincoln let it be known that he wanted no further invitations from any US president, as three of them had invited him to be present at their assassinations.”

Yet again, there is a rumor going around. Orin Kerr reports that there is a rumor going around to the effect that Chief Justice William Rehnquist will anounce his retirement this coming Friday (oops, it’s after midnight — I guess that means later today).

I always think this predictions are silly, since I’ve been hearing people predict Rehnquist’s departure (and others) from the court for years, and it’s the sort of thing that if you predict it long enough, it will eventually come true no matter what. Which does not exactly make you a genius.

Still, if he announces retirement in the morning, I want credit for “predicting” it. You heard it here first.