Different River

”You can never step in the same river twice.” –Heraclitus

December 27, 2005

If it happened now….

Filed under: — Different River @ 11:13 am

A new (I think) blog called Something Ain’t Right has a feature called “This Week in History” — in which is reported not just something that happened years ago in the same week of the year, but how it might have happened if this were then the way they are now. The result is hilarious:

WEEK 4, DEC 1937

“Snow White,” the first US feature length color and sound cartoon premieres. It is immediately picketed by a number of protest groups. Feminists accuse the prince of sexual harassment when he kisses the sleeping Snow White and also take offense at the song, “Someday My Prince Will Come.” Blacks protest the all-white cast. Midgets protest the stereotyped dwarves. Seniors protest the evil, old hag witch. Homosexuals protest the use of the term “Fairy Tale.” And Wiccans protest the use of magic for evil purposes. It is three years before Disney recovers and releases is next full length cartoon film Pinocchio, in 1940.

And there is also “This Week in the Future”:

WEEK 3, NOV 2017

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia announces his retirement. President Hillary Clinton announces that she has a nominee in mind. The as yet named nominee is described as an illiterate, minority, illegal immigrant lesbian who lacks health care and once had an abortion. She is a former teacher, actress, union member, and was once overlooked for promotion while working at Wal-Mart. She is an environmentalist who protested every war the Republicans ever started, drives a hybrid, and maintains a strict vegetarian diet. She is described by the Presidential Press Secretary as a moderate who represents mainstream American values.

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