Different River

”You can never step in the same river twice.” –Heraclitus

December 26, 2007

Goodbye, Borat!

Filed under: — Different River @ 3:10 pm

He had a good run….

Sacha Baron Cohen to shed Borat persona for good

Friday December 21 5:54 PM ET

British actor-comedian Sacha Baron Cohen says the time has come to shed forever his persona as Borat, the boorish, oversexed, TV journalist from Kazakhstan who became a surprise box office sensation last year.

In a rare interview as himself, Cohen told Britain’s Daily Telegraph newspaper he found it painful to abandon his Borat character, and another of his oddball alter egos, Ali G, but felt both had become too familiar to the public.

(Emphasis added.)

See, it wouldn’t work if too many people knew about it.

From the article in the Telegraph:

The intensely private comic actor readily admits he is more comfortable talking in the guise of the characters he has created, but unfortunately for him, both Ali G and Borat have had their day. Too many people know them and he reluctantly acknowledges that he can no longer retreat behind their personas.

“When I was being Ali G and Borat I was in character sometimes 14 hours a day and I came to love them, so admitting I am never going to play them again is quite a sad thing,” he said. “It is like saying goodbye to a loved one. It is hard, and the problem with success, although it’s fantastic, is that every new person who sees the Borat movie is one less person I ‘get’ with Borat again, so it’s a kind of self-defeating form, really.

This is “method acting” in the extreme.

December 20, 2007

Use a cellphone, Go to jail

Filed under: — Different River @ 2:50 pm

New guidelines from British prosecutors:

Motorists caught using a hand-held mobile phone while driving could be jailed for two years under tough new guidelines issued today by prosecutors.

At least they’re not being completely inconsistent:

Drivers who adjust sat-navs, tinker with MP3 music players such as iPods or send text messages at the wheel could also face prison sentences.

Or capricious:

Prosecutions will be brought if by using the equipment a motorist is judged to have posed a danger to other drivers, such as causing another car to swerve.

On the other hand, if you pose a danger to other drives by being stupid or incompetent or daydreaming, that’s perfectly OK. It’s only if you use a device to accomplish the distreaction that you risk jail.

But don’t worry, at least they won’t print your picture:

When a murderer escaped from a New Brunswick [Canada] prison on Thursday, officials refused to release his photograph, citing departmental privacy policy. … Under its privacy rules, a photo of a convict cannot be released unless the inmate gives permission and signs a release form …

Next time, make him sign the form before he escapes!

Just don’t do it to a teddy bear!

Filed under: — Different River @ 2:32 pm

The second most common name for new baby boys in Britain is “Mohammed.”

Just don’t try that with a teddy bear!

I am in the wrong business!

Filed under: — Different River @ 2:28 pm

Now I know why I’m not rich. It’s because I am not creative enough to have thought of this.

This guy is brilliant. Not for wanting to do this to someone, but for thinking of selling the service. Brilliant is a really wacko sort of way, of course.

December 6, 2007

Global Warming and Snow

Filed under: — Different River @ 5:21 am

The U.S. Senate has marked Washington, D.C.’s first snowstorm of the year by passing a bill aimed to prevent “global warming”:

Jeff Poor reports:

Nothing inspires taking on the “planetary emergency” of global warming like the first snow of the winter in Washington, D.C.

As two inches of snow accumulated outside the U.S. Capitol, the Senate’s Environment and Public Works (EPW) Committee debated “historic” global warming legislation sponsored by Sens. John Warner (R.-Va.) and Joe Lieberman (I.-Conn.).

“We look around right now and see the snow on the trees – standing out here and say ‘Where is global warming when you need it?’” Sen. James Inhofe (R.-Okla.) said to the Business & Media Institute.

The pending vote is seen as historic because “the Senate would impose for the first time a cap on greenhouse gas emissions.”

Of course, the fact that there is still snow proves that, “Despite ‘historic’ vote, groups say climate bill needs improvement.”

Heh.

December 4, 2007

Jew Against Channukah

Filed under: — Different River @ 12:08 pm

Some Jews — in Israel, no less — are now against Channukah. On the grounds of … Global Warming!

In a campaign that has spread like wildfire across the Internet, a group of Israeli environmentalists is encouraging Jews around the world to light at least one less candle this Hanukka to help the environment.

The founders of the Green Hanukkia campaign found that every candle that burns completely produces 15 grams of carbon dioxide. If an estimated one million Israeli households light for eight days, they said, it would do significant damage to the atmosphere.

“The campaign calls for Jews around the world to save the last candle and save the planet, so we won’t need another miracle,” said Liad Ortar, the campaign’s cofounder, who runs the Arkada environmental consulting firm and the Ynet Web site’s environmental forum. “Global warming is a milestone in human evolution that requires us to rethink how we live our lives, and one of the main paradigms of that is religion and how it fits into the current situation.”

United Torah Judaism MK Avraham Ravitz called the environmentalists “crazy people who are playing with the minds of innocent Jewish people.” He said the campaign would only convince people who do not light candles anyway.

“They should encourage people to light one less cigarette instead,” Ravitz said.

But if they do that, they’ll only make people live longer, and produce more carbon emmissions!

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